I’m a simple girl, with mostly simple desires– as a broke blogger I generally don’t ask for anything really crazy for Christmas.
But every so often my family gets tired of being handed the same old holiday wishlist that usually consists of socks, new pajamas, and maybe a cozy sweater or two (although let’s get real– if you’ve been peeking at my instagram lately you’ll know I have more than enough of those.)
So to kick off day 2 of Blogmas here’s a special wishlist that I’m sure my mother will enjoy reading: all the ridiculously expensive and never-going-to-happen stuff I secretly want for this holiday season.
That’s right, Mom. You wanted something different? You wanted something extra? This is about as far out as I can get.
To be entirely real, I do think this is completely fabulous. I look forward to wearing it in the year 2025, when we appoint the first openly gay Pope and he invites me out for Beyonce karaoke.
This watch would honestly be a dream to have wrapped around my wrist. And at $225 it is probably possible that one day I’ll have it. If any of you are rich and are willing to toss $225 my way, let a girl know.
It’s just a humble ring, mother. So what if I can’t lift my hand? So what if it costs more than my English degree? It’s a small price to pay for self-esteem.
The year is 2027. My husband, Reginald Jenkins the 5th, has mysteriously fallen to his death down a flight of stairs in our country mansion. As his childless window I stand to inherit over 30 billion dollars. I enter the church wearing this outfit and diamond encrusted sunglasses. Photographers take my picture as I place a hand on his casket, a lone tear straying down my cheek. My bestie, the gay Pope, snaps a candid and posts it to my instagram. Somewhere in the distance an acoustic version of Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love” plays.
(Okay but Mom, if you’re reading this– I really love Daisy and I need another bottle. It can be the little one. Thank you! I love you!)
Marc Jacobs, why you gotta be so pretty? I’m absolutely obsessed with red accessories regardless of the time of year. Red is a classic! I will fight you about this.
I want to one day be so rich that I can buy underwear that really does nothing for my body other than look beautiful as a hulking man rips it off.
(Sorry Mom. Please don’t buy me this. It’ll be weird.)
Diamonds? At the gym? I changed my mind, this is too extra.
I mean, I love the concept of this mirror. Rose gold? Lip-shaped? We all know those are two of my favourite things. But looking at it now I can only think about how inconvenient it would be to take a selfie in– and we all know how important selfies are to me.
I just… I don’t even know why I want them. They’re beautiful, but I have no clue what I would do with them. Take instagram photos? Put in a display case? Auction them off and donate the money to prevent world hunger? Who knows.
What do you think, Broke Babes? Love it? Hate it? Want to let me know?
Hit like, leave a comment, and don’t forget to follow along on instagram and twitter at @bankrupt_beauty!